Passat is a sturdy ketch
Built in Finland by the elves
Her scantlings are fit to shunt ice
Below she’s all lockers and shelves

I bought her five years ago
When I needed to upsize my boat
She may be more than I needed
She’s the biggest little ship afloat

We brought her home from up the lake
Forty nautical miles we came
Although our course was straight
We had no experience at the game

The wind was out of the East
Blowing at twenty knots
Passat was bucking and rolling
As her poop took the brunt of the chop

But we made it to Toronto
Moored at our berth with ease
I thought it was going to go like that
Every time there was a breeze

But owning a ship is different
Than owning a twenty foot boat
There are thirteen through hull valves
Each of which could be broached

Handling is an absolute bitch
She just won’t turn in reverse
She doesn’t go slower than three knots
And her hydraulic steering is worse

As a result, I don’t go out much
I stay at the dock most of the summer
But Passat has become my office
So that’s not a complete bummer

I’ve tricked her out with all the mod cons
Wifi, TVs, shower, heat and cold air
She has a full galley and hot water
If I needed to I could live there

She has her master stateroom aft
With a small head en suite
Sleeping aboard in a light chop
Is both satisfying and sweet

Occasionally we’ll take her out
My buddy Jim and me
We’ll cruise out through the Western Gap
And happily put to sea

She sails like a stately home
Heeling slightly and moving slow
Her hull speed is about six knots
Plot a course on the iPad and let her go

She’ll take a big sea head on
Raising a bow wave and rattling the rig
She moves well with her mizzen up
It calms things down when the swells get big

She weighs about eight tonnes
Has a ninety horse diesel four
Carries the momentum of a freighter
But has no brakes to slow her

She just takes patience though
And I’m learning to drive in reverse
It’s taken me five years to get here
But I know it could have been worse

And when the apocalypse comes
As I’m sure it must
A sturdy boat is a safe refuge
For getting away from the dust

Passat is a sturdy ketch
Built in Finland by the elves
Her scantlings are fit to shunt ice
Below she’s all lockers and shelves