I used to crave joy, moments of bliss
They livened up my life
Days when I felt like a million dollars
And my mind was as sharp as a knife

I could get anything done and do it on time
And excel at doing it too
And if people got in the way of my goal
Well, into a rage I flew

Rage was my default setting
Unless I was consumed by joy
There was no in between place
I’d been that way since I was a boy

It didn’t matter if it was joy or rage
The next day was brutally bleak
I’d be torn by black doubts and regrets
And a despair that lasted a week

When all was functioning normally though
My mind worked like clockwork, so tight
It clicked away with calm self-assurance
Getting everything right

Sometimes a gear came loose, though
Or a notch slipped off its cog
And my mind hurt just like back pain
Existential void in the fog

I’m better though, now, I saw a shrink
Who dosed me up good and hard
I take Valproate, Prozac and Abilify
Two grams a day, pills by the yard

The drugs make life dull and predictable
And flatten my affect as well
But I smoke a little weed for that
And the mood swings are no longer hell

The moral of this story
Is go see a shrink and get scrip
Take your meds like a real man
Your illness isn’t a trip