I’m good at being retired
I know just how much to do each day
When to nap and when to eat
When to get the mail, when to hit the hay

I never did much when I worked
About 3 hours a day was it
The rest of the time was for napping
And getting high as shit

I’m still getting high, it’s my nature
I just have more time for it now
And for some reason it’s cheaper these days
So I get more, smoke more and get more pow

For my fixed income buck
Which covers smokes and iTunes too
That and rent and some groceries
Are all I need, my wants are few

I have lots to do: laundry, love the cat
Listen to loud music (very quietly)
Smoke indoors, use the loo
Smoke out on the balcony

There’s visiting with the concierge
Taking the recycling downstairs
Coming back with tat, stuff I’ll recycle
In a week, no putting on airs

I get a little work; I’m trying to retire
But they suck me back in again
It’s because I don’t charge much
And I write proposals that win

I was a pollster for thirty years
I know things few in Canada do
I’m a grand old man in my field
I guess I’m one of the few

Survivors of the days when polling
Was done door-to-door
When sampling mattered
And polling numbers were respected more

Oh well, those were the old days
They’re gone forever now
Identity polling has become weaponized.
To tell the truth, somehow

I’m glad I’ll be gone before the apocalypse
When truth and objectivity are meaningless
The reason I retired was politics got too dirty
It’s a problem someone else will address

This started out as a happy song
About how good it was to be retired
But now I realize that’s not it, I’m hiding
From a world that’s gotten haywired